I spent my first post-chemotherapy Friday on a flight to Maui. At first I was a little self-conscious of my turban-covered head and mask-covered face. Then I spotted a couple of others traveling in head-covered, eyebrow-less, eyelash-less splendor. I believe we were all happy to land safely after a somewhat turbulent flight. We still had cancer when we landed, but we landed.
So, here we are in paradise, cancer or no. I keep forgetting to put my cap on, venturing out to our lanai with my baby-bird-fuzz head exposed. The air on Maui is soft, the sun so warm. One wants to bare everything and just…bask. I expect to be wearing swimsuit and shorts most of the trip, no matter how many outfits were crammed into my suitcase.
This morning’s news is full of tsunami, death and destruction. A town of 9,500 missing, a nuclear plant in jeopardy of meltdown, 1,300 people known dead thus far. And…most of those people weren’t living in fear of death. They were living one minute, gone the next. The survivors are left to patch together what they can from the wreckage, and live on.
Every disaster, natural or man-made, seems to be followed by much discussion of how to prepare for the next one. Now I see articles questioning how prepared Californians are for an 8.9 earthquake and/or tsunami. Yes, we can stock up on emergency supplies and formulate an escape plan. Hind-sight is indeed 20-20. But, also, fate is fate.
I have several friends who are longtime cancer survivors. They’ve been quite supportive. Their philosophies about how to live vary as widely as their personalities. One advises me to go on a special, cancer-fighting vitamin regimen and to have my house tested for radon gas. Others advise meditation and prayer. I’ve been introduced to a massage therapist specializing in cancer victims. Whether or not I want to engage in any of the prescribed “remedies,” I do appreciate the caring behind the advice.
To prevent cancer, one should avoid: smoking, sedentary lifestyle, carcinogenic chemicals, being born with the wrong genes, bad air and stress. The reality of it is this: you get what you get. There are 30 year, two-pack-a-day smokers who never get cancer and die in their 90s of old age. There are never-smokers who die from lung cancer in their 40s. One does the best one can…and then it’s a crap shoot.
Japan has some of the strictest seismic building standards in the world. This, along with an advanced tsunami warning system and earthquake preparedness routines ingrained at youth, probably saved many lives. But there are many who didn’t make it, despite it all. All the earthquake preparedness routines in the world won’t bring them back.
So, what does one do? Live in fear of death by tsunami, plane crash, earthquake…cancer? Avoid living in coastal areas, travel by plane and breathing when in Los Angeles? Or maybe we just live with a modicum of caution and great zeal. We live and we enjoy every sunrise, despite the sunset that comes for us all.
Lovely to see you in Maui standing near a coconut palm. Is that the view from your lanai?
I remember that first feel of Hawaiian air when I went there for the first time for my 30th birthday (Kona-Kailua). “Soft” is an apt description.
Hey, you’re beginning to sound like a Buddhist. Maybe you’ll be the Wiccan-Buddhist in our family.
Papayas! I don’t know if you love them as much as I do, but I could eat them every day while in Hawaii.
On my first three day meditation retreat in 2001 I remember what I think of as “eric’s killer lunch talk” on the last morning of the retreat. A dharma teacher, Eric said it was typical for retreat participants to start thinking about what they’d be doing in the near future. He said it was important to stay present, that we had no idea if we’d even be alive after lunch.
Two days later I woke up, meditated, then watched the second WTC tower fall on live tv. So many folks expected to go to lunch that day, just like yesterday in Japan and anywhere else in the world someone died.
Yes, enjoy those breezes, amazing sunrises, and being in Maui with the love of your life. There’s paradise!
love,
Kathleen
Yup, that’s our lanai. We’re right on the water, and slept with the sliding glass door open to the sound of the waves. Heaven!
I don’t think I’m a Buddhist, but I like that religion better than Christianity.
However, if accepting that life is made up of the whole mix, not just the “positive” bits, makes me a little Buddhist, so be it.
Have a nice Saturday. We plan to relax and watch the whales swim by. Have already seen some frolicking this morning.
Love, Joyce
Thanks for an inspiring post, Joyce! I am snorkeling virtually, and thinking of Hawaiian sunsets and air. Your post was just what I needed to nudge me toward my next phase of this journey – done with chemo (for now), a few more radiation appointments, then the wait.
Not fearing the future, while still planning for it, and squeezing all possible enjoyment out of each day – my goal, and usually do-able, but still needing some work. Sometimes cockeyed optimism is in short supply!
I enjoy your posts just as much as I’ve enjoyed your company (and Joan’s!) – it’s very nice to have a kindred spirit on this road.
Mahalo!
Soft air, warm sunshine–bare everything and enjoy.
Another nice piece though a bit darker than usual because of Japan, I suspect.
Good morning, Joyce and Joan,
I wondered all day yesterday if flights would go to Maui. I’m glad you made it and can look into the ocean with joy as well as having to absorb the tragedy it has bestowed on Japan and other lesser-affected areas. Your post today, as always, was a welcome read though it presented a very philosophical, meditative, and almost calm acceptance of “may be.” You are so right. We all live in a “maybe” situation. The challenge is not to dwell; and I, like you, live on the edge of worry wartism. I guess I am trying to enjoy every experience, and every tragedy somewhere else makes it possible to keep me moving in that direction. My surroundings and my wardrobe are very simple so my priority can be exploring every corner of the earth I can manage. I remember my heroine who was my high school English teacher senior year. We all used to talk about how she wore the same few outfits each week. One day, she told us about her conscious decision not to expand her wardrobe so that she could see the world and watch her literature come alive. Now, I’m probably one of those, except that I seek out much more than literature, I’m not so much an “old maid,” and there are no students watching me and discussing me anymore. Funny how these things come up in one’s mind.
I wish you the best possible two weeks with few thoughts of April 4 until you get back to L.A. and “real life.” Even the smile on your balcony face seems so calm. I’d like to be watching those whales frolic, too, from solid land. Have an awesome time, and don’t worry about your cute red fuzz. I think you must look pretty damn cute. Hugs to both of you.
Bonnie
Joyce, you have such a great aura/spirit about you, your attitude is wonderful and insightful. Thank you for sharing and happy you and Joan are in Hawaii, you are right we should enjoy every moment.
I was depressed for too many years and the last past five years have become beautiful in many ways. I went to the gym Thursday for the first time in months, and I am going later this afternoon. As I type here my 18 year old “kittygirl” is sitting between me and my Macbook, she is love.
Enjoy the wind, sea, beautifu trees and flowers. Oh the sunsets are gorgeous too…
You always have your beautiful radiant smile.
Joe
Hi Joyce, I was just reading the April issue of Oprah. “Healing Thoughts. (page 128) “Express yourself. When you clear your head, good things happen to the rest of you. Cancer patients who talked about their feelings had to schedule fewed doctors’ visits.”
Keep on expressing yourself! I keep you in my prayers.
♥´´¯`•.¸★¸¸.♥♫♫
Great post, and thanks for the whale pics – nice to see happy frolicking going on!
So where were these whale pics? Missed them. My wife flew her last Tokyo trip for awhile, opted for, you guessed it, Maui 2-day layovers–a couple of these anyway. Glad you got there. I’m not a a great devotee of Polynesia (topside at least), but it has its charms. As do you, buzz cut and all. One of them could be your new mantra (or one of them), “‘l’audacité…toujours l’audacité!” Blog on…Hugs, as ever, JC
Pictures on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2114238&id=1356711542&l=a352e88a0f
Having a good time. Just splurged on a 5D Mark II today, which is pretty great. Wish you were here!
;-*
Joyce
Fun to see those frolicking humpbacks and dolphins and people in Maui! Thanks for the link for those of us without FB.
love,
Kathleen
Can’t say I’ve ever seen a photo of you so calm, although the one of you and Joan at lunch is still my favorite…you looked so happy!!…and calm and happy are both very understated sentiments. We need one and strive for the other and you found both on your trip. Way to travel and vacation. Thank you for sharing…love, Tony