Sprinting Towards 60

Spring is here...and so am I!

Since my triple-dose of Carboplatin and PACLitaxel last Friday afternoon, I spent most of the week in bed. Friday night and Saturday passed without a wink of sleep, possibly due to the double-dose of steroids. By Sunday I was pretty much knocked out, sleeping through that day and the next. I can’t remember ever feeling so exhausted after having had so much sleep. A trip to the bathroom on Monday found me actually contemplating taking a nap on the old tile floor rather than tottering the 25 feet back to my bed. I slept through half of Tuesday, and all of Wednesday. Today was my first, full day back to work. The slight dizziness and ache in my joints is still present, but the rest of me is beginning to feel “all the way live” again. Unfortunately, the appetite has also come back; having cancer doesn’t seem to be a reliable substitute for attending Weight Watchers. Oh well, at least most food tastes like it’s worth the calories.
In my 20s I had a friend named Rose who once gave me a compliment I’ve cherished to this day. She used to refer to me as being “All the Way Live.” I knew my usually unchecked exuberance is a big part of me, at times having been made painfully aware that a little reticence on my part might serve me well. She was the first person to make me feel my blatant gusto wasn’t something to be ashamed of.
Today I drove home with the top down, relishing the bright verdure of Beverly Hills in Spring, listening to such cheery tunes as Everything’s Coming Up Roses by Ethel Merman, and smiling at tourists in a multitude of roofless tour vans. After nearly 5 days in bed, being outdoors was a treat…gridlock on Sunset Boulevard or no. I’m hardly up to riding my bike to work, yet (nor was I BEFORE I had cancer), but most activities sound more appealing than drifting through another day in a darkened room.
So, living through cancer isn’t all a sad affair. The low points are pretty low, but the highs are pretty swell.
Not receiving a verdict of NED (No Evidence of Disease) from my post-first line treatment CT Scan was pretty disappointing. High dosage chemo isn’t exactly a ride through Beverly Hills. But, it feels pretty darn good when the side effects start diminishing and the interesting ins-and-outs of life come into brilliant focus again.
I’ve been following a blog written by Linnea Duff, a woman with stage IV NSCLC who just celebrated her sixth year since diagnosis. Having never been NED in six years, she’s come up with another term, NDY, or Not Dead Yet. She’s still active as possible, enjoying her family and living on in Massachusetts.
So, my goal for the next year: to be NDY, and always…always All the Way Live.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 5th, 2011 at 10:46 pm and is filed under Cancer, Coping, Joie de Vivre. Follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Respond, or trackback from your own site.